


Wallow

by centroid



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Other, Sad, Tadashi died but Hiro never found the microbot under his bed, everything after tadashis death never happened, just bros bein bros, not romantic hidashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 15:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9129190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centroid/pseuds/centroid
Summary: It never got easier for Hiro through the years. The pain never subsided and the wounds never healed.





	

Hiro stepped out of his car, the cold ground meeting his foot in a  _ thud. _ He’s been here so many times, he couldn’t keep track. Every day was the same damn thing. 

Four years. Four years and he can’t let any of it go. The scene plays in the back of his mind every second he’s conscious, and sometimes it makes him wish he followed in his brothers footsteps that day. 

The fire was excruciatingly loud. The constant crackle and pop that came from the flaming building was the only sound he heard. He tried to stop Tadashi, but he was frozen. His mind was constantly plagued with what he should have said. 

_ I need you.  _ His breathing was ragged, and he wanted to say more, but his fear kept his voice silent. 

_ I love you.  _ The thumping of Tadashi’s shoes sounded like the bass of a car stereo turned up far too loud. 

_ Tadashi.  _ His hat blew in front of him like a leaf, but it didn’t tear his focus away from the scene in front of him.

_ Don’t leave me.  _ His brother disappeared into the light of the ablaze building, and his only wish was that he followed. 

_ How can I cope with losing the only thing I care about?  _ He moved only to have his actions stopped by the force of an explosion. 

_ I can’t lose you.  _ He opened his eyes to see depree falling from the building, and his heart swelled only to fall apart as he realized he just lost the thing most important to him. 

He scrambled to his feet and ran toward the building, not caring the heat was getting to be too much. Someone suddenly grabbed him around the waist, but he knew it wasn’t who he wanted. He would have known the slender but firm touch of his brother, and this was not it.

There was screaming, and it sounded like the person had been crying and thrashing for hours. The sound was wretched, and it was painful to the ears. He realized the screams were from his own throat, but he didn’t care. He wanted his brother back. The screams soon turned into sobs, and he heard the sirens of ambulances and fire trucks. 

There were people talking all around him, and maybe they were talking  _ to _ him, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want anyone but his brother back, and maybe that was selfish, but he knew that would be his one selfish request until the day he died. He stared at the ground for what felt like hours, but soon there was someone shaking him, crying and hugging him. They told him everything would be okay, but he knew that was a blatant lie. Did he look okay?

Days passed in a whirlwind after that. He didn't touch Tadashi's side of the room, but sometimes he looked at it longingly. He hardly ever spoke, and when he did it was because it was required. 

His whole life became a struggle. Every day was trying to keep his heart together because he knew that Tadashi would have wanted him to stay strong. But it was hard to stay strong when you had half the heart you used to, and every single piece was charred around the edges- never fitting together in a harmonious figure like it did prior. 

Four years later, and nothing had changed. Sure, he talked more and sometimes he even threw a fake smile around, but that didn’t stop the looks of pity and sadness that were thrown his way. 

He sighed, and he was brought back to the present. He was leaning on the driver side of his car door, and he slowly looked up to see the graveyard. His heart was filled with pain as he slowly walked toward the grave that read  _ Tadashi Hamada. _

A sigh escaped his lips, and he couldn’t help but let his legs carry him to the ground. He turned, letting his back rest against the headstone. Some people would call how he was positioned disrespectful, but he called it being as close to his brother as he could. 

“Nothing is easier Tadashi. I’m trying, I really am.” He spoke, and as he let the words come out of his throat, his eyes welled up with the reused tainted glory of 4 agonizing years. “I can’t move on, I try so hard but the scene replays and all I see is you walking into your own death- and my iconic last words were ‘no’?” His head dropped to his knees, and his hands came up to rest in between the bones. “I wish every day that you were still with me. I haven't been able to move out of Aunt Cass’ house because I can’t leave you behind.

I should have stopped you. I should have been selfish and let my wants take over because you were my best friend and I’ve been without my other half for four years, Dashi.” He was tired, so tired and the want for sleep was taking over. He never got closure- the whole incident was as new and raw as it was so many years prior and Hiro just wanted  _ a rest- _ but all he got was a burned body buried in a casket six feet under his shoes _. _ It still felt like a dream. 

“Aunt Cass still looks at me with pity in her eyes.” Hiro’s throat felt raw from its misuse, and he looked up to be greeted with light raindrops. “I can’t get the image out of my head. And it’s not like I want help from people because they keep telling me to move on but how do they expect me to?” He was practically screaming now, but he didn’t care. He was alone in the field filled with stones. “I was 14, only 14 and I watched my brother get burned to death. I should have stopped you-  it’s  _ my fault  _ but they want me to fucking move on?” Hiro’s breathing was ragged but his energy was leaving him. He let his eyes close as the pitter patter of the rain lulled him to sleep. 

“I still need you.” He whispered as slumber consumed his body and tears stained his skin. His head was leant back, face turned skyward as his legs were drawn up to his body, forearms propped up on each knee. The rain could do nothing to wash away his sorrows, face contorting to that of melancholy peace. His pale skin stood out from the black suit he was wearing, the grass stains making the scene look that much more sorrowful. As the sky grew darker around him, Hiro’s body stayed as still as the stones he was surrounded by until morning.

When he awoke, A black jacket was draped over his body in such a beautiful manor- tears escaped his eyes. 

Instead of sobbing along with his heart, He laughed. 


End file.
